Domestic Violence: It’s assuming epidemic proportions – Effah-Chukwuma

Not many know that relationship or marriage is meant to bring out the better person in a spouse. But, the reverse is the case in our society today as many people especially married women suffer different kinds of domestic violence.

It is a paradox that a love relationship being nurtured by spouses would suddenly turn to a theater of absurdities, leading to several injuries and scattered homes.  What kind of a person resorts to domestic violence against the spouse or domestic intimate partner? What kind of a person thinks it is right to continually humiliate or talk down a life intimate partner?


Chioma Obi, 35, got married to her loving husband Daniel in Abia State but three years after, it became a an undesirable relationship.  She was beaten and battered most times to coma. Chioma is currently suffering from partial blindness.  The story is not different from that of Tomilola Akinrogbe, who courted her husband for four years but little did she know that the day she signed her wedding certificate was like signing her death warrant when her husband, Adewale Akinrogbe stabbed her to death after an argument ensued between the couple at their residence, Ijaiye, Ogun State.
Apart from physical battering, once a spouse is physically or emotionally abused,  he or she is no longer free, no longer valued, respected or safe.  What can be more violent than living under such circumstance.

When Saturday Vanguard sought the opinions of experts on the issue, they expressed worry over the dangerous trend in our society.

Josephine Effah-Chukwuma, the Executive Director, Project Alert,  a non-governmental women’s rights organisation set up to promote and protect the rights of women and young girls who share his view on the issue opined that the current  rate of domestic violence in Nigeria can not be established, as there has not been a national survey to that effect. However, she said that following the current trend, one in five Nigerian women is a victim of domestic violence. “As according to the 2012 Gender in Nigeria Report, one out of every five Nigerian women and girls aged 15-24 years, has been a victim of one form of violence or the other.”

She said while poverty and social economic challenges could be considered to be one of the numerous reasons for domestic violence, they are not the main reason for the act. “Domestic violence, as indeed other forms of violence against women/young girls, is a power relationship. It is more about men and boys feeling they have power and control over women and young girls, and physically and sexually assaulting them into submission. Putting them (i.e women/girls) in their place (below men) as its often said.

This idea was corroborated by Pa  Aderibigbe Olofin, an octogenarian and sociologist based in Lagos. He stated that violent behaviour often originates from a sense of entitlement which is often supported by sexist, racist, homophobic and other discriminatory attitudes of a person, mainly the man. “Male privilege operates on an individual and societal level to maintain a situation of male dominance, where men have power over women and children.”

Olofin added that violence at homes could be as a result of avoiding important issues out of fear of angering your partner or  excessively jealous and possessive or domineering attitudes.
“When your partner control where you go or what you do, limit your access to money, phone or car;
destroy your belongings or property; threatens to hurt you or kill you if you opt and of the relationship or marriage could be possible cause of domestic violence.

Effah-Chukwuma however stated that culture and religion play a major role in the continued perpetration of violence against women in general, and domestic violence in particular. “This is because people hide under the guise of both, to justify acts of domestic violence. You here people saying things like ‘’its our culture’’; ‘’the African culture allows it’’; ‘’the Bible says a woman should be submissive, and if she is not, she should be beaten’’; ‘’a foolish woman breaks her home’’ etc. All these add up to keep women in abusive relationships, while encouraging their husbands to continue their abusive acts.”

She expressed worry over the increase in the trend, adding that her NGO receives an average of eight cases of domestic violence per week. “At Project Alert, we receive an average of 8 cases weekly. In 50% of these cases, we are able to settle the matter, after several counselling sessions with both parties individually and then together. We mediate and help them arrive at a mutual agreement, especially where there has been no physical injury, on either parties. In 25% of the cases, the extended family members come in, and take over the matter, with the consent of the couple, and try to resolve the matter. In the remaining 25%, the violence and threat to life is so severe that the woman, states clearly that she does not want to go back to the marriage, for fear of dying, and as such wants a separation or divorce. Thus our first response is typically to try mediating,” she noted.

Effah-Chukwuma also stated that both domestic violence which includes physical battering, threat to life etc and sexual violence (rape, gang rape, incest, defilement, sexual abuse) are the two commonest forms of violence against women and young girls in Nigeria. “In fact sexual violence against children (especially little girls) is becoming very prevalent. Hardly can a day go by, without one newspaper reporting a case of defilement and incest against a young girl, some times as little as two years of age. It is in my opinion, that it is assuming epidemic proportions,” she stressed.

On how stigmatization has been affecting agencies intervention and prosecution, Effah-Chukwuma agreed that stigmatization is one of the factors that cause victims to remain silent.

“Yes, stigmatization is an issue, as it causes victims to keep silent, and not cry out for help. The greatest challenge however is the poor response from the criminal justice system (police and courts) and social service providers (hospitals, social welfare) to victims and their families/friends. Police insensitivity to and unprofessional handling of sexual violence cases due to poor training and lack of logistics, has resulted in low reporting rates of sexual violence cases especially.”

“Lack of logistics for the police means that victims of crime have to fund the process of seeking justice, starting from providing transportation to investigating police officers, going to hospital, paying for medical tests, pay for telephone calls, etc. Very few victims can afford all these costs, and as such their cases never get prosecuted. The courts on the other hand are also insensitive to the plights of victim, with the frequent adjournments and delays. Justice delayed it is said, is justice denied.”
“The Domestic Violence Law of Lagos state, which was enacted in May 2007, is a relatively new law that Lagosians are just getting to know about. It requires aggressive mass sensitization and awareness creation by government, targeting the public, the police and the judiciary. My organization Project Alert, in 2008 and 2009, bought copies of the law from the Ministry of Justice, and donated to all police divisions in Lagos, during the tenure of Mr. Marvel Akpoyibo as Commissioner of Police in the state. We also conducted some trainings for officers. However there is a need for a sustained public awareness campaign on the law, if it is to make impact, and help prevent acts of violence in the domestic sphere. Presently it is not very functional, as so many people are yet to know about it, and understand how the law works.”
She advised that government at all levels should stop playing politics with the lives of women and young girls, and take seriously the issue of domestic violence and sexual violence. Effah-Chukwuma maintained that more and more women are suffering various health implications and even dying from these twin problems. “Relevant agencies charged with responding and providing support services to victims, should be well trained and well equipped to do their jobs efficiently and effectively. Government, NGOs and the private sector need to partner to end all forms of violence against women and young girls,” she stated. Shedding more light on the issue, Pa  Aderibigbe Olofin, said: “Domestic violence includes assault with weapons such as knife, gun, matchet, burning or killing, pushing, throwing, kicking, slapping, grabbing, hitting, punching, beating, biting, restraining, confinement to hurt and cause emotional imbalance in a person.”

“When your partner control where you go or what you do, limit your access to money, phone or car;
destroy your belongings or property; threatens to hurt you or kill you if you opt and of the relationship or marriage could be possible cause of domestic violence.
 
According to him, other causes include, “when your partner forces you to participate in an unwanted, unsafe or degrading sexual activity;  is domestic violence.

He opined that although it is most times caused by men.  “It is as a result of the inequalities between men and women, rooted in patriarchal traditions that encourage men to believe they are entitled to power and control over their partners.”

He added that alcohol and other chemical substance may contribute to violent behaviour. “A drunk or high person will be less likely to control his violent impulse at the slightest provocation by a spouse.
He advised that people should acquaint themselves with the existing prohibitive laws to seek redress.
Olofin urged spouses to take note of signs of an abusive relationship which according to him is the first step to ending it. He added that it is absurd to live in fear of the person you love.

Source: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2013/06/domestic-violence-its-assuming-epidemic-proportions-effah-chukwuma/

8 Signs You Are Dating an Abusive Man

1.     The Jealous Controller in Chief:  He always wants to know who you are talking to, calls you every time to know where you are, who you are with and what you are doing. Suspects you of flirting any time he sees you with a man including your boss and insists on following you everywhere you go. He constantly checks your call history, text messages, BBM chats, Facebook chats and inbox, twitter conversations, emails or website history and visits you at home and work unexpectedly.

2.       The Heavy Weight Champion: He has past records of battering past girlfriends, beating up women at work or on the streets and tells you it was the victim’s fault. He fights with anyone at anywhere at the slightest provocation and can remove his clothes to fight with a bus conductor over change. He has past records of rape and enjoys viewing child pornography like having sexy pictures of children in his phone or viewing videos of adults performing sexual acts on children.

3.       The Professional Blamer: He never takes responsibility for his problems and blames other people and you for his own mistakes. He may make statements like, “you made me angry,” “it was all your fault,” “I lost this opportunity because of you.” In his world, it is always everybody’s fault but him.

4.       The Lonely soul: He gets angry when you spend time with your friends and family and gives you reasons to stay away from other people but him. He changes your SIM card, deletes every contact of your family and friends and tells you who to associate with. He will rather you stay at home than work so that men won’t look at you and ladies won’t corrupt you. He prevents you from joining groups, professional bodies and attending any social gathering alone. 

5.       The Boiling Stew: He always feels insulted and blows things out of proportion. When he’s angry, he breaks things around him. He can be charming and sweet one minute and angry and explosive the next minute. During an argument or disagreement he may hold you down, restrain you from leaving the room, push you, shove you, or hold you against a wall.

6.       The Stinging Talker:  He constantly criticizes you or says cruel things to you and about you. He curses at you and calls you ugly names. He uses vulnerable points about your past/life against you and puts down your accomplishments.  He puts you down in front of others as well. He makes you see yourself as stupid, not good enough, not beautiful and lowers your self esteem.

7.       The Perfect Perfectionist: He has unrealistic expectations and expects you to be perfect. He has an imaginary world in his mind with a stipulated role he expects you play and never satisfied by what you do. He makes you feel like you can never do anything right for him.

8.       The Sober Militant: He uses threats, black mail or physical force to control you. He may use words like, “I’ll kill you”, “I’ll beat you,” “I’ll break your neck”, “If you ever leave, I’ll kill you,” but then dismisses it with "I really didn't mean it." He uses force to get you to obey him and keep you committed to him.

Ladies, you can use make up to hide your scars but it will never hide your pain. Stop making excuses for him and call off that relationship now. Abuse doesn’t stop after your wedding day; it gets worse and affects your children.

Project Alert is a non-governmental human rights organization established in 1999 to protect and promote the rights of women and young girls in the society, especially their rights to live free from all forms of violence against them. Our areas of intervention are Research and Documentation (R&D), Human Rights Education (HRE) and Support Services Program (SSP) which includes legal aid, temporary shelter services for abused women, counselling, and skills acquisition training. www.projectalertnig.org follow us on twitter @Projectalertvaw and connect with us on Facebook: Project Alert on violence against women. 

Orphanage rape: Director absent in court

The Director of Light of Hope Orphanage, Akute, Mr. Olatayo Atunde, was on Thursday absent at the Ota Magistrate’s Court, Ogun State.

Atunde had, on April 26 2013, been arraigned on four counts after his arrest by the Zone 2 police command.

The arraignment followed allegations of rape by two minors aged 13 and 14(names withheld), at the orphanage. The command had been alerted by a petition from Project Alert, a non-governmental organisation on violence against women.

No plea was taken after the charge was read and Atunde was subsequently remanded in Ibarra prison, Abeokuta, pending an advice from the Director of Public Prosecution.

At the hearing on Thursday, a prison official informed the court that Atunde was down with malaria, hence his absence in court.

There was also no sign of the counsel representing Atunde; neither his wife nor relatives present.

The prosecutor, Mr. Ajayi, queried the lack of a medical report to authenticate claims of Atunde’s ill health.

He said, “A medical report should have been presented to this honourable court, indicating the state of Atunde’s health and the ailment being treated.”

The magistrate, Mr. A.S. Soneye, asked Ajayi if he suspected foul play on the part of the prison official and feared that Atunde had been released.

He said, “Do you think that Atunde could have been released? I don’t think the prison officials would attempt something like that in a case of this magnitude.”

Ajayi said, “Anything can happen; incidents of this nature have occurred in the course of my job.”  He insisted that a medical report ought to have been produced. He also said advice from the DPP was being awaited.

Also in court and holding a watching brief for Project Alert, was Mr. Courage Erhuen.

Soneye asked Erhuen if he too was of the view that Atunde had been released.

“I sincerely believe and respect this court. To this end, since the court has already given an order, I believe it cannot be breached.

“The court would have to seek the consent of the complainant before Atunde can be released. I would like to believe that the prisons, being a government agency, would not do otherwise,” Erhuen said.

The minors, who were principal witnesses in the case against Atunde, are back at the orphanage which is now being run by Atunde’s wife.

The case was adjourned until August 8, 2013.

Source: http://www.punchng.com/metro/orphanage-rape-director-absent-in-court/

Kolade Arowolo still insisting his 'murdered' wife killed herself

For those who saw the injuries on late banker, Titi Arowolo, you will all agree that it didn't look self-inflicted. But the man standing trial for her murder is still insisting she killed herself. 

Kolade Arowolo was in court yesterday May 22nd and told the court that Titi actually attacked him with the knife and eventually turned the knife on herself. He said: "I'm not that kind of person. I loved her so much".

Explaining what happened on June 24th 2011, Kolade said he and his wife had sex on that day. He said they'd agreed to stay indoors throughout the day since it was his birthday, adding that he, however, went out to withdraw money which they would use in celebrating his birthday. Continue..

 He said on returning home, an argument ensued, causing his wife to slap him. He said, “On June 24, 2011, after we had sex, we made some commitments one of which included that she (Titilayo) would no longer be running off to her parents’ home whenever we fought and we decided that we would do everything possible to make the marriage work. We decided that we would stay indoors till evening.

“I went out around 10am to withdraw money from the bank and I bought some items. On the way, I picked up my mechanic because he needed to repair my car. On getting home, about an hour later, the security guard and the mechanic helped me to take the items to my apartment and he (mechanic) drove the car away.

"On getting home, I realised my wife was completely dressed and she said she was going out. As I pleaded with her, she started shouting, saying that Aunty Toun (Stepmother) and Aunty Labisi told her to leave the house. She was very angry and she slapped me.”

Akolade said he ran to the house of his next door neighbour and told his neighbour’s mother, Mrs. Hannah Alaka, to intervene.

He said Mrs. Alaka called Titilayo and spoke to her by the corridor leading to the staircase and convinced her not to go out.

Akolade said he and his wife returned into their apartment and he proceeded to fuel the generator when he received a phone call from his sister-in-law, Folake Oyakhire.

He said he and Folake shared the same birthday.

Akolade said, “After speaking with Folake, she asked to speak with her sister so I started looking for my wife all over the place. I called out her name but she did not answer. On getting to the entrance to our room, I slipped and almost fell. As I attempted to hand over the phone to my wife, she stabbed me in the arm with a kitchen knife.

“She stabbed me again this time on the left side of my chest. I tried to wrest the knife from her and she started screaming, ‘I will kill you and kill myself.’ In the struggle, she stabbed me in the navel.

“Later. I asked my wife why she did this and she started apologising. I then decided to get help for her but I could not find the key to the main door to the house.”

Akolade said he scattered the wardrobe, where his wife said she had kept the keys but still could not find them.

He said, “After attempting to force open the door of the house with no success, I decided to jump from the balcony and I met the security guard and mechanic there. I jumped into my car and drove towards the Aswani Police Division.

“On my way to the station, I met some traffic policemen and I explained to them that my wife needed help. They were telling me to take care of myself first since I was covered in blood. While I was still explaining to them, an oncoming vehicle knocked me over and I fell unconscious.

"When I regained consciousness, I found myself in a strange environment and was told that it was a Good Samaritan that had rescued me. I later made a telephone call to my mother. It was the person who picked up the phone that told me that my wife was dead.”

While being cross-examined by the Director of Public Prosecutions, Mrs. Olabisi Ogungbesan, Akolade told the court that his wife was alive the last time he saw her.

He said he sustained more injuries than her and even debunked the report of the pathologist, Prof. John Obafunwa, who had asserted in his testimony that Titilayo was stabbed 76 times, saying it was not possible for a human being to inflict such wounds on oneself.

Ogungbesan, who debunked Akolade’s testimony, said, “Akolade, why did you not inform the mechanic, neighbours or even your security guard that your wife was bleeding  instead of going to the police station? Why did you not use your mobile phone to call for help?

“If you did not stab your wife to death; then who did? You said your wife was mentally unstable, are you a certified psychiatrist? Since it has been established that you were the last person to see her alive I put it to you that you stabbed your wife to death.”

Akolade answered that his wife had taken alcohol that morning.

He said, “If you had seen her that day, she was even more powerful than me. She overpowered me. I was not thinking clearly that day. That was why I ran straight to the police station without telling neighbours. It was possible that she stabbed herself to death but it was not 76 times.”

Justice Lateefa Okunnu, adjourned the matter till September 17, 2013, for the final address of counsel. (Punch)

I'm sorry but his explanation makes no sense to me. Besides, Titi's family confirmed back in 2011 that he frequently battered her.

Rape: ‘We won’t close orphanage’

MAY 20, 2013 BY COMFORT OSEGHALE LEAVE A COMMENT : The Ogun State Government says it will not close down the Light of Hope Orphanage, Akute, Ogun State, over allegations of sexual abuse against its Director, Mr. Olatayo Atunde. This was made known in a statement on Sunday by the State’s Commissioner for Women Affairs and Social Development, Mrs. Elizabeth Sonubi. She said, “It should be noted that before his remand in prison, the state government had ordered that Atunde should not visit the premises of the orphanage. “His wife who was allowed to take over the management, gave an undertaking not to interfere with the ongoing judicial process or take action which will intimidate the children. “Logistic challenges associated with outright closure of the home should be appreciated. Two officials of the Ministry of Women Affairs have been detailed to constantly monitor the orphanage since the beginning of the case and visit the home every other day.” Atunde was arrested on April 4, 2013 by the Zone 2 police command after he was accused of rape by two minors living at the orphanage. Following the arrest, the girls were handed over to Project Alert, a non-governmental organisation on violence against women. Two weeks later, the Ogun State Government took custody of the girls, but returned them to the orphanage a few days later. PUNCH Metro had on April 30 reported the return of the minors to the orphanage. Four days before the report, Atunde was arraigned at the Ota magistrate’s court on four counts and remanded in Ibara, Abeokuta prison. The case was adjourned until May 30, 2013. Defending government’s decision, Sonubi added, “The children needed to be where they would be comfortable and the orphanage is the only home they have ever known. “Also we don’t want a break in their education; one of them is sitting for the ongoing JSS III examination. “Meanwhile Project Alert, which petitioned the police over the allegation against Atunde, demanded money to accommodate the children. “The relatives of the children invited to take custody of them rejected the offer to take up such responsibilities.” Counsel for Project Alert, Mr. Benjamin Odeh, however refuted the allegation. He said, “I was present at the meeting in Abeokuta when the girls were handed over to the state government. At no time during the meeting was a demand ever made for money. “The girls were already in our care before the government intervened and Project Alert still offered to continue keeping them until they were able to complete their JSS III exams. “If Project Alert demanded money, the Ogun State Government should be able to tell us how much was demanded. This allegation is false. The government is just trying to defend its surprising action.” Source: http://www.punchng.com/metro/rape-we-wont-close-orphanage/

Graphic photo: Woman bathed with acid by rejected lover

23 year old Blessing Ikhumhi, a student of Edo State School of Health Technology was bathed with acid by her ex-boyfriend Cyril Okosun after she ended things with him. According to the story by Guardian, On March 23rd 2013, Cyril asked to speak with Blessing after she ended their relationship and thinking he wanted to talk reconciliation, she agreed to see him. He visited her house and as she went out to talk to him, he bathed her with acid. Blessing is now blind in both eyes and battling to stay alive at the University of Benin Teaching Hospital (UBTH), Benin City where she is a patient. Read Blessing's account of what happened after the cut... “He was my boyfriend and we had arguments in February. He beat me to the extent that I was not able to go to school for three days. I told him I was no longer interested in the relationship. He later tried to forcibly take my telephone, but I refused to give it to him. I told him he was not the one who bought it for me.” “On March 23, he called and asked me to meet him in front of our house. I refused initially, but he insisted, so I came out. He asked: “Do you mean you don’t want me again?” I said: “No! I was no more interested in the relationship. And immediately, he poured the acid on my face. Since that day, I have been on admission at the UBTH and the doctors say I might not see again except I am flown to India where my eyes could be restored." “I never knew he would have the heart to pour acid on me. I made a mistake. I have learnt the biggest lesson of my life. My prayer now is that God should touch kind-hearted Nigerians to come to my aide so that I would be able to get treatment abroad, since my parents cannot afford it.” Doctors in the hospital believe she may never see again except she is flown to a specialist hospital in India, where her sight could be restored. Cyril Okosun is in police custody in Benin Source: http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/2013/05/graphic-photo-woman-bathed-with-acid-by.html#more

You call it love, she calls it violence

One of the latest stories of domestic violence is that of the 23-year-old Blessing Ikhumi whose boyfriend, Cyril Okosun, reportedly bathed with acid, ostensibly for daring to voice her decision to discontinue with a relationship she considered abusive. That was on March 23. Though they were never married while the relationship lasted, Okosun was controlling and abusive, as the damaged young lady claims. Blessing, a student of Edo State School of Health Technology, says sometime in February, her ex-boyfriend beat her to the point that she could not attend school for some days. While she survived the beating, she is currently battling for her life at the University of Benin Teaching Hospital, where the doctors have told her that she needs expensive surgery overseas to regain her sight. This is very urgent, the doctors say; else, she risks losing her sight permanently. Domestic violence is real and it goes on all around us all the time. In most cases, experts say, women are the victims; though research currently suggests that men also experience domestic violence. Researchers from King’s College London’s Institute of Psychiatry, and the University of Bristol found that domestic violence can be a vicious cycle. They say domestic violence can often lead to victims developing mental health problems, and people with mental health problems are more likely to experience domestic violence. The research, published in the journal PLOS ONE, discloses that worldwide estimates suggest that over their lifetime, between 15 and 71 per cent of women experience physical or sexual violence from a partner. An online resource portal, vaw.umn.edu, notes that abuse can be sexual when the aggressor attacks the victim’s sexual organs, engages in forced sexual activities, pressures the victim to have sex, or commits rape (including marital/partner rape). Experts also say it could be physical, such as pushing, shoving, grabbing, slapping, punching, restraining, etc. It could be physical intimidation (blocking doors, throwing objects), use of weapons or stalking. It may be emotional or psychological — threats and coercive tactics, controlling what the victim can and cannot do, undermining a victim’s self-worth and self-esteem, humiliation, denigration, blaming the abuse on the victim, name-calling and yelling. It may also be economic, such as maintaining control over finances, withholding access to money, making the victim financially dependent or not allowing the victim to work or go to school. According to a Consultant Psychiatrist at an earlier encounter, Dr. Oluyemi Ogun of the Federal Neuro Psychiatric Hospital, Yaba, Lagos, domestic violence can have an enormous effect on a woman’s mental health. She says, “It is now well accepted that domestic abuse is often the main cause of depression, anxiety and other mental health disorders. It may also lead to sleep disturbances, eating disorders, drug abuse, suicide or attempted suicide.” But then, what would make an otherwise loving partner turn abusive? Consultant Psychologist, Dr. Adeola Martins, says two most common reasons for intimate partner violence are alcohol abuse and uncontrollable anger. She says a person’s social standing, education or proper upbringing is no protection from improper behaviour during intoxication. Again, she says, uncontrollable angry reactions could be as a result of the abuser’s perception of being humiliated by the spouse. “Just as in alcohol-induced violence, the aggressor loses both the capacity to reason and the ability to logically monitor his reactions. The next thing you see is that he pounces on his victim and will not be assuaged until he draws blood.” Martins notes that in extreme cases, the abuser ‘rewires’ the victims psyche by giving her the impression that she can’t cope outside the abusive relationship, especially where the victim depends on the abuser for financial security. She also says sometimes, where it’s the husband who abuses the wife, he might threaten to send her packing and deny her access to the children, especially if the children are still very young. “That is why you see many women endure sordid abuse in the hands of their partners, sometimes leading to morbidity and, in many cases, death,” Martins says. The Executive Director of Project Alert, a non-governmental organisation that caters to the needs of abused women and their children, Dr. Josephine Effah-Chukwuma, expresses surprise that a woman could continue in an abusive relationship, warning that you could only be addressed as a “Mrs.” When you are alive. Her Sophia Home in the heart of Lagos rehabilitates women who have escaped abusive relationships. She cautions, “You might worry that seeking help could further endanger you and your children, or that it might break up your family. However, getting help is the best way to protect you and your children.” Meanwhile, domestic violence has negative implications for children of the relationship, experts say. Professor of Guidance and Counselling at the University of Lagos, Mopelola Omoegun, notes that domestic violence affects children, even if they’re just witnesses. She warns, “If you have children, remember that exposure to domestic violence puts them at risk of developmental problems, psychiatric disorders, problems at school, aggressive behaviour and, on the long run, low self-esteem.” Source: http://www.punchng.com/healthwise/you-call-it-love-she-calls-it-violence/